Connie Chung interviews Satan

Excerpt from the recent Connie Chung interview with Satan:

Connie Chung: Hello. How are you?

Satan: I’m doing super Connie. Yourself?

CC: Wonderful, thanks. What was your inspiration for Halloween?

S: Wow, right to the point. Well, there seemed to be a lot of Christian oriented holidays like Christmas, Easter and Groundhog Day (laughs), and to be quite honest I was a little hurt that I was never given one of my own. So I mounted a massive letter writing campaign and God met with me and acquiesced.

CC: How did that meeting with God go?

S: Unfortunately our past, and frankly, our future squabbles have been public knowledge for sometime. But behind closed doors it’s just 2 guys, who although don’t agree with the others’ ideology,
respect each other nonetheless. He listened and understood where I was coming from and the rest is history.

CC: What are some of the things you talk about with the Almighty?

S: I always apologize for rebelling against & the tempting of Eve which you know led to the spiritual dying of man. Stuff like that. He always apologizes for throwing me out of Heaven so hard, and for turning me into a snake. By the way, He only did that because He knows how much I hate snakes. And then He apologizes for “Touched by an Angel” and we have a big laugh.

CC: It sounds to me you have a pretty good relationship.

S: He’s like a Father figure to me. No pun intended. (laughs)

CC: Back to Halloween. What do you want people to learn from it.

S: Interesting question. I guess I’d like for them in some small way to forget their problems for one night out of the year and just have fun. I mean, that’s what it should all be about, right Connie?
That, and maybe that sinning is way more fun and much easier than being good.

CC: What does Halloween mean to you?

S: I’ve always felt that if I can get one child during Halloween, just one, to commit a violent crime, then it was all worth it.